Ando Comedy Commando

The MB family were treated to some great live Australian stand-up comedy last night with Wil Anderson doing a show in Cairns. Wil, despite having a very nasty flu, had the entire audience laughing more or less continuously during his show. Seeing him live was a real treat, his delivery on stage is a lot punchier than his stuff on The Glasshouse. The MB family even bumped into Wil before the show at the Italian restaurant just down the road from the show venue, but politely him gave him his space and didn't mob him like some empty headed fans would. Looking to forward to seeing him again next year, hopefully at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.

CUBs Reunion in Sydney

Son of MB has decided the extended and far flung family should meet up in Sydney this Christmas. Sydney really is the most wonderful city with the best summer weather in Australia by far. The hunt is now on for a nice big holiday shack somewhere on the North Shore. Here's hoping we'll pass the NSW border security questionnaire. Wonder what the questions will be? Maybe we could grease the palms of a corrupt and greedy border security functionary?

Border Security

Balmy tropical winter days in the deep North mean lots of walking for MB and her hirsute hound, Holly dog. The other half, MDR, accompanied the duo today on a jaunt through the very scenic neighbourhood rainforest reserve, which happens to be a mosquito infested flood plain during the wet season. MDR noted the annual influx of Southern visitors, in particular, motor vehicles with "Mexican" number-plates. This provoked some rather xenophobic comments from him and in the ensuing debate it was decided that the Queensland borders should be manned by security officers who would administer questionnaires to intending visitors. Visitors would have to satisfy the Queensland authorities with their knowledge of Rugby League, Cane Toads, Beer, Bjelke-Petersen and Qantas before being given permission to enter the Smart State. One can imagine the border being choked with mobs of cold mexicans queueing for days to get through.

Move over DINK's

The CUB's (Cashed up Bogans) are now on the ascendant.

I'm Chuffed

MB watched all the business & politics programs this morning on the ABC in order to gloat over the scuttling of the Snowy Hydro sale. Another fact MB has only just gleaned was that the Snowy Hydro sale was going to inject over a billion dollars into this year's NSW state budget, their last one before the next NSW State elections. Would it be cynical of MB to suppose the current NSW Govt. had a very compelling and much shorter term agenda? John Dalla Bosca has the to be the spinmeister extraordinaire, when he was interviewed this morning he managed to duck and weave his way out of any meaningful answers to the interviewer's questions.
On another note Matthew Slatter from Tabcorp could really use a personal stylist, that pinstripe suit with the striped tie was not a good look.

Save the Snowy Hydro

MB is extremely concerned and really quite appalled at the sell off of the Snowy Hydro, with water rights for 72 yrs being handed over to the new owners. The sell-off was announced in January this year and there has been hardly a stir in the media and barely any significant public debate.

This isn't just an electricity company, it controls & owns vast amounts of water. How can the driest continent on earth hand over such a water rich asset to private investors? These water rights really are totally priceless and will be an absolute bargain for the buyers no matter what the Governments sells them for.

The Snowy Hydro may be located in southern NSW and Northern Victoria however all Australians have stake in the Hydro, it supplies electricity to Australia-wide grid and I'm sure once the Snowy is privatised, the cost of that power will increase and we will all feel it next time we get our electricity bill.

The Snowy River has only just started being rehabilitated, with water flows being gradually increased from 1% in 2002. Will the Snowy River continue to be rehabilitated after the NSW, Victorian and Commonwealth Governments sell off the Snowy Hydro?

There are three major issues here: Water, Conservation and Electricity, can we trust the Snowy Hydro Chairman, (who is also chairman of the Sydney Futures Exhange*) to think in the best interests of all Australians rather than in the best interests of private investors seeking quick profits?

Honestly it's like selling your mother to white slavers. Water is such a fundamental issue and control of our water should not be handed over to any minority group be it a business or otherwise. *http://www.iancohen.org.au/mediarelease.aspx?id=144

Online Petitions: http://site.savesnowyhydro.com/ and

http://www.vacantmoments.com/savesnowy/

Mother's Day

The MB family treated their Queenbee (hey that rhymes with MB) to two home cooked meals, which is an all time record. Youngest son was going to get up at 7am and make a crepe breakfast but didn't get up until First born daughter arrived and shook him out of bed at around 9am. Son of MB then made a batch of light as air, melt in the mouth crepes, with chantilly cream, fresh fruit and jam, ensuring the crepes evaporated in a very short time.
That evening Son of MB decided to cook something from MB's new Italian cookbook "Silver Spoon", he found a special recipe for meatballs with a secret ingredient and cooked up a super dinner. A pavlova would have been the "icing on the cake" but it was not to be..... Good thing too, MB really doesn't need all those kilojoules.
First born daughter knows what her Mum likes, an Angus & Robertson gift voucher, so MB can indulge her voracious appetite for a book or two.
By the way, the secret ingredient in the meatballs was mashed potatoes.
MB has been temping at a professional office for the past 3 weeks, mon-fri. Plenty of material there for some blogging so keep posted.

Commercial TV

"Commercial" is certainly the operative word when it comes to free to air television. Most of MB's limited viewing is on the ABC and SBS, with some cable TV thrown in. When the MB family were holidaying in Numurkah, one the commercial TV stations was screening a new Hannibal "movie". Big mistake trying to watch this, the length and frequency of the advertisements was completely overwhelming. The Hannibal program wasn't terribly good and it turned into an endurance test with all of the $%&*(!# advertising.
It gets worse though, the cable TV we subscribed to in 2000, for the Olympics, is also becoming clogged with advertisements. Paying a high monthly fee for this advertising makes MB very steamed up. However MB thinks the folks at the cable TV place are pretty canny, they don't interrupt the sport programs with adverts, so there is no way the male spouse is going to give up the cable TV.

Fireball Incident

Whenever a cyclone threatens Cairns the MB family loves to recount the Fireball Incident. This story has reached mythical proportions but the version herein is the most accurate.

In 2000 Cyclone Steve was on track to pass over Cairns so the MB family made all the usual preparations, storing water, getting candles, making sure there were batteries for torches etc. Late in the afternoon of the day the cyclone was due to hit, MB also picked up some extra bread at the bakery and for a special treat bought 4 jam donuts, one for each member of the family to have after dinner.

MDR put an esky on a towel on the floor in the kitchen in readiness for the usual power failure. Sure enough, the power failed once the wind got stronger, at around 6pm.

MB being the good mother she is lit some candles and started to assemble a small, portable gas lantern in the kitchen to cook some dinner. This particular appliance used a small gas cylinder which you had to punch with the gas lantern top to connect it. MB duly did this but the gas started to escape very rapidly and immediately caught on fire from the candles nearby. The escaping gas turned into a fireball over 2 metres high and completely engulfed and carbonised everything in it's path. The sight of the fireball was really quite breathtaking and the entire MB family was there to witness it, their collective jaws dropping and their eyes wide with wonder and panic.

MDR came to the rescue by grabbing the towel from under the nearby esky and smothering the fire. A dazed MB and kids were still gaping when a neighbour burst through our front door to help douse the fire, he'd witnessed the entire fireball though the kitchen window which overlooks the street. We gingerly lifted the towel, expecting to see a very damaged benchtop but amazingly enough there was no damage whatsoever, the closest thing to the gas bottle when the gas ignited was a paper bag containing the special treat donuts. This was incinerated and all that was lying there were 3 small, round, black things. MB realised that someone had eaten one of the donuts surreptitiously and cast an accusing eye over the assembled family members. Youngest son rather smugly owned up to eating one earlier in the afternoon!

There was no fire damage at all in the kitchen, luckily the ceilings are over 3m high so the fireball didn't reach. MB did get burnt arms though and needed some pretty heavy duty painkillers to get through the night, no scarring fortunately.

In case you're wondering, we disposed of the lantern and the spare cylinders.

The Tide is Turning

MB just discovered adbusters via the weekend papers, they are producing anti-logo sneakers. You may remember MB's laments on this subject in an earlier post. Should MB even be advertising these shoes on this blog? Feels wrong somehow....

Melbourne Comedy Festival

Those Melburnians really know how to stage an event. The MB family got to see two shows on Saturday night, many were sold out so opted to see "Waiting for Compo". A farce incorporating empty VB tins, a tub chair and some bogans from the burbs trying to get publicity by rioting and also claiming compo for their young son who had developed man boobs from being fed exclusively on reject battery hens.
The show was staged in a function room at the Duckboard Lane RSL, off Flinders Lane in Melbourne. The RSL is one of those old clubs full of wartime memorabilia and very atmospheric, we had a beer there before the show.
After that show we decided to go to the Trades Hall where comedy films were being sceened. This was another great venue, again we were funnelled to the show via the bar, which was adorned with lots of union posters and solidarity paraphenalia. We saw Night on Earth by John Jarmusch, made in the early 90's and chock full of famous actors, my favourite was Roberto Benignini playing a crazy Tuscan taxi driver in Rome.
Also screened was an episode of Grommatie High from Japan, one of those wierd Japanese Manga type cartoons.
Planning and booking ahead is going to be a priority for next year's festival, this year's program was amazingly good.

So Many Choices, So Little Time

As expected Melbourne has dazzled the MB family with an overwhelming array of cultural and gourmet opportunities. The 20th Melbourne International Comedy Festival is currently in full swing and there are over 200 comedy shows to see. With only one night left it's so hard to know what to choose...

Feel the Serenity

Thanks Blues for the nudge. The MB family escaped the heat and humidity of NQ last week for some rural therapy in Northern Victoria at PB's country club retreat in Numurkah. Lots of golf, wine, touring and gourmet & not-so-gourmet eating. Yesterday it was roast chook from the Chicken Ranch in downtown Numurkah, the day before it was seared lamb fillet served pink at Oscar W's in Echuca.
MDR was getting a bit edgy in landlocked Numurkah but a day trip to Echuca solved his boat withdrawal symptoms, a trip on a Murray River paddlesteamer perked him up. He was ecstatic when he was served XXXX Gold on tap at Oscar W's. Incidentally MDR keeps pronouncing Echuca "Yu-chewka", oh well can't be perfect at everything.
Pictured is a spectacular skeleton of a gum tree seen at the Kinnaird Wetlands, on the outskirts of Numurkah, MDR & MB were hoping to do some bird spotting but the wetlands were as dry as toast, another victim of the drought no doubt (nice rhyme there).
We head back in the family truckster to the big smoke in Melbourne on Good Friday, MB can't wait to have some fat, juicy scallops which are impossible to get up North, maybe a little shopping too. The boys are looking forward to Coffin Bay oysters which apparently can be found at the Prahran Markets, a few blocks from where we'll be staying. We're not obsessed with food are we?

Cyclone Larry

A rather tardy posting as Cyclone Larry is now old news. However wanted to display this photo of an uprooted tree outside the Cairns City Council. Our city's trees suffered dreadfully during this storm.
Cairns was very fortunate to be on the periphery of this very destructive cyclone, which ravaged the coastal towns about 100klm south of Cairns.

Tea Anyone?

Why photograph a box of tea?

If you read the small print near the base you'll see that it says "Supreme Monkey Pick Oolong Tea".

MB has visions of an exalted monkey picking tea on the verdant hillslopes in Oolong. This monkey could even wear a saffron robe and tell your fortune by reading the tea leaves.

Or is there a labour shortage in China and monkeys are being trained to replace humans? The mind boggles.

The tea is actually very, very good and MB is very fortunate to have the most gorgeous sister-in-law who always remembers to send her gourmet teas.

Politics

Aunty Sue was published in the Melbourne Age for the second time in a few weeks.

Hoping this post will provoke some heated political debate....

North African Travel Plans

MB was rather alarmed to read that the Italian Embassy in Libya was torched by protestors on the pretext that they were upset by those Danish cartoons.
Libya & Tunisia are on the itinerary of the study tour MB was hoping to take later this year. One of the best preserved Roman cities, Leptis Magna, is located on Mediterranean coast of Libya.
MB did a blog search of Leptis Magna and found some great blog posts from bloggers who had visited this amazing site, there are also loads of excellent photos on Flickr. One can certainly travel vicariously using the 'net.
So the jury is still out on whether or not to go....

This Space for Rent

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the amount of advertising on clothing and other objects? MB is a compulsive reader, if she is confronted by any letters or words she must absolutely read them, even the letters on vehicle numberplates. For a long time MB thought everybody was like this but in the course of growing up found that most folks don't have this need to read.
You can imagine MB being worn completely down by the plethora of marketing slogans, logo's and brandnames on clothing, in fact they are not just confined to clothing, they are virtually on every visible object.
MB was heartened to read a few days on a t-shirt being worn by a young Asian looking guy the following; "This Space for Rent". It's so good to see someone else has noticed and has a sense of humour.
MB predicts this blatant form of marketing will cycle eventually and in a few years we'll be back to wearing garments with much more subtle, or even covert, branding.

Breakfast in Rocky

After two weeks at home MB finally got around to doing some filing in her office, where she found a receipt for a breakfast at the Coffee House in Rocky. This reminded MB of the best breakfast to be had on the road between Brisbane and Cairns.
This little gem of a restaurant has the most extensive & wonderful breakfast menu. If you are a foodie check out the link http://www.coffeehouse.com.au/documents/Breakfast.pdf
Definitely a must visit establishment if you are ever in Rockhampton.

Keeping Focussed

Stop Press: MB has finally bought herself an MP3 player.
After extensive market research (and not getting suckered into buying one of those cute looking Ipods) she settled on a Creative 256mb with an FM radio. It's so tiny and can hold more than enough data, truly amazing.
The reason for this purchase is to have something other than the Gym's techno music to listen to while on the X-Trainer and the climbing torture machine that the Gym Maestro has directed MB to work on.
Now MB can download interesting podcasts and listen to them at her leisure, or rather during the monotonous workouts on those damn machines.